Ockham Media

So, I was doing really great with being positive and working that law of attraction stuff, and getting some pretty cool results. But then all of a sudden from who-knows-where, I woke up a few days ago feeling full of doubt. I don’t know what triggered it. But all morning I had thoughts like, “Who do you think you are? You’re not a writer. Your music video won’t be selected for this contest. The other filmmakers are probably way more experienced than you (except in editing). You are a PHONY!!” I had to work very hard to keep pushing these thoughts out of my mind. It was a day of mental struggle. The next day I felt fine again. It was weird. Maybe it was a cosmic test of some sort.

In other news, as if I don’t have enough on my plate already, I am strongly considering getting more involved in Real Estate investing. I’ve done some in the past and loved it. I miss it. Even when we weren’t in the position to buy property I would look at listings on the internet. If I can become a decent investor, maybe that could help fund my creative endeavors. Anyway, I’m talking to some people who know their stuff and pondering if it’s something I want to take to the next level. I really need to hunker down and come up with a solid plan that I’ll actually stick to. It seems like whenever HARD WORK enters the equation I want to run away. For good reason- I spent too many years working my butt off to only gain an inch of success. Depressing. I’m such a results oriented person. It would be better if I could enjoy the process more instead of pushing for some result. My other problem is BORDEOM. Once I do something for a while I get bored of it, so it’s hard for me to truly master anything. I’m just a little snowflake floating all over the place. How can I come up with something I will stick with no matter what?

The post is rambling all over. I’ll conclude with a project update. THE BOOK: I worked on it a lot this week. The completed first draft is only weeks away. I hope to send it off to my editor in September. THE MUSIC VIDEO: Concept and rough shot list is done. I came up with some cool ideas for this one. Next week I’ll finish the shot list and start gathering props and contact locations.

Fall is in the air. Change is brewing. Something new is around the corner and I’m not quite sure what it is. I love this feeling- the anticipation of the winds of change. I love change. It keeps me from boredom. I love that feeling that something interesting is looming in the near future. That’s where I’m at right now. After 5 years of editing video I am taking a break. I’m still working with clients, but I’m not actively marketing or selling. I feel myself being pulled in a different direction, just not sure what yet. Don’t worry, I’m not turning my back on my business! I worked too hard building that thing up to let it go. Just taking a break. In time I will re-evaluate the biz and hopefully clarity will come. But as of tomorrow morning I get to wake up and work on my novel. I get to immerse myself in these haunting and beautiful characters, and try to unstick the parts of their story that are still stuck. I get to start conceptualizing a music video project I’m doing. I don’t know where these things will lead. They may take me nowhere, but if the wind is strong enough I think it might blow me far far away. We shall see.

What do you think about all this “Law of Attraction” stuff that’s so in right now? I consider myself a realist and I was skeptical when I started hearing about it. But then something so bizarre happened that it totally changed my mind. I now believe that we absolutely create our lives from the inside out. The following is a TRUE STORY, I promise.

I read an article about a woman who wanted to test the law of attraction theory. She decided that she would pick something so peculiar that if it happened, she could feel certain that it was the result of her “attracting” this result into her life. She decided to focus her thoughts on playing cards. She told herself that she would find playing cards on the street or in some obscure place. I don’t recall how long she did this, but very soon afterward she began to find playing cards in the strangest places.

I read this and thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. I decided to prove to myself that it was ridiculous. So I decided to try it. For one week I thought about cards. I imagined myself finding one. The image was very vivid in my mind. Only one week passed and guess what I discovered in the parking lot of my apartment building? You guessed it, the Ace of Diamonds! I was shocked! I told my best friend about this crazy phenomenon. Some time later she gave me an envelop. I opened it and inside was a 7 of Hearts. She had found it lying on the street next to her favorite ice cream parlor. I don’t remember how long she channeled her thoughts on cards, but it worked for her too.

I dare you to try this experiment. Especially if you think the law of attraction is a joke. I’ve been thinking about this story a lot lately as I move into this new phase of life. What do I want to create? My life is an empty canvas and I am the painter. I can create what I want. This time I’m going for something a bit more lofty than an Ace.

You know the voice I’m talking about. The one that whispers diligently to your soul, telling you what you REALLY want to be doing, however impractical it may seem. I recently decided to listen to that voice. What it told me was no big surprise. In fact, it was the same thing it told me 20 years ago, before I went off to get “reasonable” job in finance. So, 2 decades later the verdict remains the same. What am I passionate about? Making documentaries and music videos, of course!

I declare that I will no longer whine about what I want to be doing. I will no longer tolerate excuses and stalls. I will listen to my heart and start NOW. I am sharing this with the blogosphere to   a. hold myself accountable   b. encourage others to take the first step toward their own dreams.

Music Video.  Excuses: 1.The art of music video is dying. 2.Musicians don’t have money to pay for videos these days. 3.I would have to move to LA to do this and compete with people way more experienced than me.

ACTION STEP: I heard about this music video opportunity here in my city. I told them I was interested and I received the song I am to create a short film for. It is beautiful and very inspiring. If my film is chosen it will be shown at the band’s release party. No money involved, but a great opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do. It will also provide me an opportunity to meet other creative minds which is always inspiring to me.

Documentary. Excuses: 1. I’m not familiar with long-form video.  2. I don’t have a story  3. There is zero money in this field  4. I don’t have “connections” in this industry

ACTION STEP: I am looking into volunteering for the upcoming Docuwest film festival. Might be a good place to meet some people. Also I joined the Film Society where they have a monthly documentary night. There was just a big article in the newspaper about how my city is a hotbed for documentary filmmakers. Really? I didn’t even know that. Guess it’s time I get in the loop.

I still think some of my excuses are valid, especially the ones with money. It’s always a heightened challenge to prusue dreams that are artistic in nature. In our culture we do not highly value the arts. If you want big bucks, computers or plasic surgery are your best options. Also we have the stereotype of the “starving artist” which is super negative. On the otherhand artists have a huge advantage and this is creativity! We can find unique ways to turn our dreams to dollars. I have no idea if/how the money will come to me. But I am taking the first steps to listening to “the voice” and I don’t think that voice is ever harmful or wrong.

Won’t you join me in this journey? What is your deep desire of pursuit? What excuses are you using? What can you do today to take that first small step. Let me support you!!