Ockham Media

“Believe me, the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is – to live dangerously.” – Nietzsche

I found this quote the other day and loved it. I wanted to post it on my FaceBook. But I suddenly realized, “Why would I do that? I’m not living dangerously!” PLEASE! I’m a stay-at-home mom in the heart of a small city. I wrangle my kids schedules and try to squeeze in a bit of creativity between obligations. There is nothing dangerous about my life. I’m not living in a war zone. I’m not wondering where my next meal is coming from. I’m not shooting documentaries in the African rainforest (yet). Where’s the danger? Then I felt just dumb…and boring.

Then I relaxed into that a bit and started to think about it more. Well, I did just sent my novel to two people to get their feedback. That is dangerous, right? I’ve been a closet writer my whole life, but this is really the first time I’ve put my stuff “out there” for others to see. It is scary. Even telling people about it makes me nervous, yet I am starting to tell people about it. My ego is in danger of being harmed but I proceed anyhow.

I’ve been working on this idea for a new music video (the overly ambitious one). I met with a set-designer last week and got some great (and cheap) ideas of how I can pull it off. Oh, I decided to not contact Mr. Leto. Why? Because I found a song I like ever better for this concept! I emailed that band last night and now wait to hear back. Danger? You bet! Again my creative heart is on the line and …. what if they say YES? This rather well-known band from Europe saying yes, would mean I actually have to follow through and make this film. Now that seems very dangerous because the prospect frightens me… big time.

So I’m not climbing Mt. Everest solo without supplemental oxygen. But maybe I am being just a tiny bit dangerous in my own way. How about you? What dangers are you facing? What envelops are you pushing?

Time is a strange concept. I love thinking about time because it takes my relentless mind on some rather crazy journeys. I get to the point where I can no longer fathom time as a concept and all its relative weirdness. I’ve had the theory for several years now that time is best represented by a 3-dimensional sphere. Our minds merely perceive time as passing linearly. Imagine your time on this earth as a big ball. Inside is every experience, thought, and memory you will ever have. The mind then spends its time (ironic?) sorting it out and trying to put it into logical order because…let’s face it, that’s just what minds do!

There are moments when we touch the non-linear fragments of time, but our logical mind cannot understand it. For example, I am convinced that ideas are absolutely non-linear. You may touch on an idea and decades later it comes back as if it were hovering in the back of your brain all this time. My current novel is very much this way. Most of the characters were conceived over 20 years ago. And I mean every vivid detail of them was alive way back then. But for some weird reason they resurfaced now in the form of a book. Strange.

Have you ever had the experience of loosing touch with a friend only to have her reappear in your life years later? But what is amazing about this experience is the moment you are in the company of your old friend you feel as if no time has passed at all. You pick up right where you left off with that person. On one hand it is a very bizarre phenomenon, but on the other totally natural.

We also have the experience of “deja vu”; meeting someone new who seems familiar, or being in a place you’re sure you’ve been before…but haven’t. Perhaps you are merely remembering something that hasn’t happened yet. Maybe in your spherical time ball you caught sight of an experience, but then your mind quickly filed it under “put this one at a future date”.

I mention this here because I think it’s fascinating and it’s been happening a lot to me lately. Old ideas resurfacing, past people popping back into my life, and meeting new people and experiences that I just know have some sort of significance, I just don’t know what yet. Yet time just keeps marching on like a merciless soldier, heading toward some linear end point. Very strange.

*Yep. These are the things my mind thinks about when winter starts getting too long. In case you were wondering.

A creative idea can be like a child. It whimpers when it needs attention. It follows you around the house tugging at your skirt, looking up at you with big irresistible eyes. At times it can be very demanding, especially when it’s not getting your deserved attention.

PHASE I: DENIAL
I have one of those “children” right now. This idea for a short film, this vision hit me so hard I should have know up front it wasn’t gonna leave me alone. But I tried to dismiss it because well… it’s just way too ambitious to handle right now. I have no clue how to fund it, no clue how to make the elaborate props and set design it would require, and doubt I could possibly get permission to use the song I want. (I wrote about this in a previous post….Mr. Leto? Are you listening?) Other than that it’s just a great idea. Peachy. Cool. And idea, would you PLEASE GO AWAY. I really don’t want you right now. Ummmm…no…you’re not going to go away, are you? Crap.

PHASE II: ALL RIGHT, FINE!
Ok, ok, idea. I see that you are going to keep whining. So I will need to silence the idea by proving it wrong. That should be easy enough. All I need to do is ask (Mr. Leto) for clearance to use the song and get a big fat NO in return. Also, I could talk to a friend who would totally know if my idea is even possible, I mean FUNDABLE, and get a big laugh in the face when I find out my idea will cost 2 million dollars. So, easy enough! That is what I will do in the next few weeks. So take that you big fat annoying… amazing, stunning, I’ll-cry-if-I-can’t-have-you IDEA!!!

Stay Tuned. I will be posting the results from my conquest here. Maybe THEN this dang idea will realize that I can’t possibly be the one to carry out its vision…can I?

*update, after posting this I went onto FaceBook and the only person logged on was the woman mentioned above who can give me some ideas of how I might go about doing this idea, just set up a meeting with her. Hmmmm, is the universe speaking? Won’t get my hopes up just yet…

Good Lord…I don’t know the solution for boredom. If I did, I’d be the one philosopher that had the cure for living! But I do know that about ten times as many people find their lives dull and unnecessarily dull, as ever admit it; and I do believe that if we busted out and admitted it sometimes, instead of being nice and patient and loyal for 60 years, and then nice and patient and dead for the rest of eternity, why, maybe possibly, we might make life more fun.
-Sinclair Lewis (Babbit)