Have you ever had the experience of being caught up in a certain thought pattern or a certain mood that seemed so real? So permanent? Then maybe you go off and watch a movie. Then you come back to whatever it was and you feel totally different about it? Like your perspective has totally shifted? This experience has always fascinated and haunted me. I often wonder do other people do this? Do I have a personality disorder?
The last month has been incredible. I was full of confidence, universal love, and was stepping into my power. Then this week happened. A big ol’ freight train forged right through all that and delivered me a big pile of doubt, anger, and self pity. Boy, I didn’t see that coming. Then I felt really mad at myself for slipping back into old thought patterns, rehashing junk I’ve already worked through, and feeling as though I am back at square one and all my progress was for naught. Then…
For some reason I was blessed with a moment of clarity. I realized that a personality is like a big pot of soup. The ingredients are Yin and Yang. Sometimes I dominate in Yang. Other times I wallow in Yin. Both are aspects of the same personality. I realized I wasn’t “regressing” at all, but rather experiencing a different mixture of these energies, a different aspect of myself. Pretty cool. Then I imagined myself taking a giant spoon and giving that big pot a big stir, mixing up the two balancing forces of never-ending possibility once again.