So, I was doing really great with being positive and working that law of attraction stuff, and getting some pretty cool results. But then all of a sudden from who-knows-where, I woke up a few days ago feeling full of doubt. I don’t know what triggered it. But all morning I had thoughts like, “Who do you think you are? You’re not a writer. Your music video won’t be selected for this contest. The other filmmakers are probably way more experienced than you (except in editing). You are a PHONY!!” I had to work very hard to keep pushing these thoughts out of my mind. It was a day of mental struggle. The next day I felt fine again. It was weird. Maybe it was a cosmic test of some sort.
In other news, as if I don’t have enough on my plate already, I am strongly considering getting more involved in Real Estate investing. I’ve done some in the past and loved it. I miss it. Even when we weren’t in the position to buy property I would look at listings on the internet. If I can become a decent investor, maybe that could help fund my creative endeavors. Anyway, I’m talking to some people who know their stuff and pondering if it’s something I want to take to the next level. I really need to hunker down and come up with a solid plan that I’ll actually stick to. It seems like whenever HARD WORK enters the equation I want to run away. For good reason- I spent too many years working my butt off to only gain an inch of success. Depressing. I’m such a results oriented person. It would be better if I could enjoy the process more instead of pushing for some result. My other problem is BORDEOM. Once I do something for a while I get bored of it, so it’s hard for me to truly master anything. I’m just a little snowflake floating all over the place. How can I come up with something I will stick with no matter what?
The post is rambling all over. I’ll conclude with a project update. THE BOOK: I worked on it a lot this week. The completed first draft is only weeks away. I hope to send it off to my editor in September. THE MUSIC VIDEO: Concept and rough shot list is done. I came up with some cool ideas for this one. Next week I’ll finish the shot list and start gathering props and contact locations.
If it was Monday, I have the answer for you. Crazy planetary changes! Seriously! I felt kind of down and out of sorts that day too. You are on the right path and will succeed – try not to second-guess yourself. You’re doing great!!!
Oh, little snowflake, I am right there with you. I am interested in all sorts of things, but it often reaches a point where I decide I don’t want to invest a lot my life energy into most of them. And I seem to lack that all-important skill of sticking with something. I can be so engrossed in a writing project but it won’t hold my attention long enough to complete it. Especially when that nasty hard work rears its ugly head.
Possibly we are just afraid of success. Or failure. Or something.